


maybe it's time we put our hearts in a parallel line

by jessicawhitly



Category: Prodigal Son (TV 2019)
Genre: F/M, I just want Jessica Whitly to be HUGGED frequently in s2 is that too much to ask, Post-Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:41:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25008646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessicawhitly/pseuds/jessicawhitly
Summary: “Jess,” she’s curled up on the couch, not particularly paying attention to the channels she’s scrolling through when Gil’s voice pulls her from her thoughts. He sits down on the couch, studying her, and she frowns, tilting her head in question. Gil takes a breath, seeming to consider her for another moment before he speaks again. “I think it’s time we have a talk about why you seem to want to avoid my home at all costs.”
Relationships: Gil Arroyo/Jessica Whitly
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31





	maybe it's time we put our hearts in a parallel line

**Author's Note:**

> So the premise for this fic was I wanted a space for Jessica and Gil to discuss Jackie a little bit, and for me to delve a little into how I think Jessica's self-doubt may manifest re: this realtionship and this is...what resulted? I ended up liking it a lot, so I hope you do too! Title is from Parallel Line by Keith Urban.

In the weeks following Gil’s release from the hospital, Jessica finds herself fussing over him- has him stay in one of her guest rooms, hires the best physical therapist, pours over the internet about what kind of diet was best to get him back on his feet. It’s a bit much for anyone, but between Ainsley’s investigation and Malcolm’s subsequent overprotectiveness of his sister without Gil at the department, she found she needed some place to direct her focus.

(And sometimes, when she closed her eyes, she could see the blade being driven into Gil’s abdomen, and the reminder that she’d almost lost him spikes through her like a hot poker.)

Even in the weeks after Gil leaves the comfort of the manor, Jessica finds it’s relatively easy to direct them back there during their dates, rather than going back to his home. She feels like she can breathe easier, within the familiar walls, and she doesn’t think much of it as they fall deeper and deeper into their relationship.

“Jess,” she’s curled up on the couch, not particularly paying attention to the channels she’s scrolling through when Gil’s voice pulls her from her thoughts. He sits down on the couch, studying her, and she frowns, tilting her head in question. Gil takes a breath, seeming to consider her for another moment before he speaks again. “I think it’s time we have a talk about why you seem to want to avoid my home at all costs.”

Jessica feels all the air leave the room, and swallows hard around the lump that had suddenly appeared in her throat.

“Oh,” she finally gets out, and shifts in her seat slightly. Selfishly, Jessica thinks this would be easier with Gil’s touch on her skin. Everything feels easier with his hands on her, she’s found, and maybe this conversation wouldn’t feel so daunting if she had a little bit of that strength now.

As if reading her mind, Gil’s fingers wrap around her ankle, warm and solid, and tug her closer until they’re pressed thigh to thigh, her ankle hooked over his knee and the warmth of his body against hers. Her breath leaves her chest easier, and tentatively Jessica allows her fingers to weave through Gil’s and squeezing lightly.

“It’s nothing…it’s not _you_ ,” she starts, already feeling the inadequacy of her response. “I just worry that I’ll- I’ll feel like I’m intruding. Like I’ll be reminded I haven’t had a place in your life like Malcolm has for the last two decades.”

Her words hang between them, thick like syrup, and Gil’s thumb continues to sweep over the back of her hand in a steady, calming motion. Jessica swallows, glancing down at their joined hands.

“Jackie and I…we tried for a few years to have kids,” Gil’s voice is soft, and Jessica feels her heart tighten in her chest. “It just never happened for us- and you know, it ended up being okay. Malcolm…he filled a hole, for both of us. I know, I’m not his father, and Jackie wasn’t his mother, and we never claimed to be.”

Jessica’s fingers encircle his wrist, squeezing gently to stop him.

“I was harsh,” she murmurs, and tries to offer a smile, eyes burning in the corners. “You were exactly what Malcolm needed- and all that I could have wanted for Malcolm in a father figure, especially after…after _everything_ Martin did to our family.”

Jessica drops her chin, dark hair falling around her shoulders, and swallows hard around the lump in her throat.

“And…for a long time I was jealous,” she admits in a whisper, hating the words as they leave her throat. It feels weak, to admit it, and Jessica feels shame prick like needles over her skin. But Gil’s thumb brushes along the inside of her ankle, gentle and rhythmic, and she sinks her teeth into the inside of her cheek, the lick of pain grounding her. “You and Jackie were able to give Malcolm something I could never provide, and for the longest time I felt like it was because I wasn’t enough.”

She’s feels Gil gearing up to respond, and she knows what he’ll say; he spends so much of his time reminding her how good she is, how much she deserves, trying to repair years of damage done by the media and a serial killer ex-husband and an ever-reaching socialite mother. But she doesn’t need those placations; not tonight. She knows she’s good enough- thanks to Gil, thanks to her children, thanks to a renewed sense of confidence.

“I know it’s misplaced, now, and that having you and Jackie wasn’t a replacement,” Jessica assures him, her fingers light against the nape of his neck, and the smile she offers is small but genuine. “My son had needs I couldn’t meet on my own, and you opened your home to him. You loved him, and gave him the safe haven he needed. Both you, and Jackie.”

Jessica’s voice softens around his wife’s name, and she drops her hands to her lap before flitting them up to tuck her hair behind her ears. She’s feels Gil’s gaze on her, but doesn’t have the strength to meet it; feels queasy with the weight of finally talking about things she’d hidden away years ago.

Gil’s fingers are gentle when they tap under her chin, and she resists only a moment before she lifts her face, allowing him to maneuver her until they’re nearly nose to nose. His thumb is gentle, tracing the slope of her nose before it sweeps over the bridge of it, and Jessica’s eyes flutter shut, drinking in the soft touch. His fingers map the contours of her face with a tender touch, and the prick of tears this time is too overwhelming; Jessica feels a few slip from beneath her lashes, and Gil’s fingers are quick to wipe them away.

“It’s so _selfish_ of me,” her whisper is thick with tears, and she keeps her eyes closed, unable to bear looking at his face. “To…to wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t been so scared, all those years ago. But I hate myself for thinking that because I don’t- I don’t mean it to erase Jackie. But I just…wonder if Malcolm could have gotten what he needed from _us._ ”

Tears slip down her cheeks more rapidly now, and Jessica takes a shuddering breath, nails digging into her palm.

“I’m happy where we are now. I want to be here- I want to be with _you_ ,” she finally forces her eyes open, forces herself to face what she’s sure is judgement on Gil’s face, bracing herself for the disappointment or anger or whatever ugly emotion she knows she deserves. Instead, Gil’s face is still soft and open, and Jessica feels her lip tremble at the tenderness that hadn’t left his gaze. “I just want to know how to fit into your life now without overstepping our past- _your_ past. To feel like…I belong there.”

Gil studies her for a few moments, thumb wiping away the tears the trickle down her cheeks before he lifts their hands that are still twined together, pressing his lips to the back of hers tenderly.

“I want you here. I know you belong here,” he starts, and Jessica feels the sob build in her throat; tries to swallow it down but ends up producing a whimper instead. “I know…I know that our pasts aren’t easy. But I think that we’re building something together- something wonderful.”

He strokes his thumb along her knuckles, squeezing her fingers gently.

“And it wouldn’t be a relationship if we didn’t have things to work through,” he reminds her, voice gentle. “We just have to do them together. By talking.”

He nudges her slightly at that, and Jessica rolls her eyes, a smile playing around her lips as the air seems to lighten.

“And, perhaps…we could spend the night at your home. Sometime,” she offers, and Gil’s smile is soft as he nods before he leans in, kissing her firmly.

“We’ll figure it out,” he tells her when they part, lifting a hand to brush her hair from her face before cupping her cheek in his palm. “For now…why don’t we go to bed.”

Gil states it more like a suggestion than a true question, and Jessica nods, allowing him to pull her into a standing position. She takes the opportunity to wrap her arms around his waist, cheek pillowed on his chest as she hugged him tightly, feeling his arms come up to wrap around her, and the feeling of safety and security she’d come to know with his embrace surrounds her.

It’s much too soon for things like love confessions, Jessica knows, so she swallows the words that want to crawl up her throat, and instead leans back slightly until she can meet his gaze.

“I’m so lucky my son came back to New York and brought you back into my life,” she says instead, the truth of her own words catching her off guard. Gil’s hands are strong and steady at her waist, and he shakes his head slightly.

“I think we would have found our way. Just a matter of time,” he replies, and Jessica smiles, nose crinkling. “C’mon. Bed.”

“Sir yes sir,” she answers, soft teasing in her voice, and lets him lead her down the hall with an affectionate roll of his eyes, their fingers clasped together and her head on his shoulder.


End file.
